The Curse of Appreciation

People have congratulated me many times for writing a book. And, finally, I truly appreciate it!

You see, I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with appreciation and praise. Don’t get me wrong—I’m deeply grateful for the kind words I’ve received throughout my life, but I can’t help but overthink them. Let me explain with a couple of examples:

• “Wow, you’re really good at guitar!”
  My immediate reaction? Have you seen my bandmates? I just have to look to my right during a gig and see Ed absolutely killing it. And then there are thousands—probably millions—of guitarists worldwide who could make me look like I’m just strumming through basic chords. How could I ever take that praise at face value?

• “Wow, you’re a master chess player. You must be amazing!”
  My first thought is always, “Do you know how many 8-year-olds out there could beat me blindfolded?” I’ve been studying chess for 40 years, and there are kids who have been playing for only four years and could still crush me on the board. That’s humbling!

But now, something feels different. Playing music and chess has always been about effort for me—a lot of effort. I’m not naturally talented (that’s a word I don’t like either – but for now, it’ll have to do); I’ve had to work incredibly hard for everything I’ve achieved. The same goes for writing. Of course, there are phenomenal authors everywhere. But finishing a book felt like more than simply effort—it was about determination, persistence, research and sticking with it through all the challenges. And for that, I’m finally proud of myself.

So, the next time someone says, “Wow, you wrote a book! Well done,” I’ll look them in the eye and say, “Yeah, you’re right!”

Well, unless it’s my wife—she’ll just tell me to get off my high horse and go clean up my office. 😉

Till next time,
Len